Success is achieved by developing our strengths not by eliminating our weaknesses – Marilyn vos Savant
If you are a parent, teacher, team member, social worker, youth care worker, foster, parent, team leader, supervisor, coach, manager, doctor, or you operate in any partnership or supportive capacity with other people, YOU ARE A HELPER; you have a responsibility for helping other people to do, be, or function well. You are in a role to support someone else’s growth and development. You are there to HELP them on their Journey to Better.
Foundational to the Getting to Better Initiative is to help as many people and the world overall Get to Better. An important element of this mission is the objective to HELP as many Helpers get to BETTER so that they may be more capable to do what they are already doing; HELPING. This Newsletter was developed to do just that. It is intended to help you help others to BETTER. This article will provide an overview of what I understand and refer to as a strengths approach to helping. As the opening quote states, a strengths focus is the best way to get to BETTER.
The remainder of this article will:
- Identify what strengths are
- Discuss the challenges to “seeing” and experiencing strengths
- Define and describe a strengths approach to helping
- Provide on overview on the importance of a strengths focus/perspective
- Emphasize the benefits and positive implications of a strengths approach
What are Strengths?
In order to embark upon a strengths approach, it is important to know what these things we call strengths are. We at the Getting to Better Initiative use a fairly broad definition of strengths. We define strengths as, basically anything that can be identified, used or leveraged to assist, support or enhance the development of a person (s), group (s), community (s), organization (s) or system(s) potential and overall capacity towards important goals. That’s right; a strength can be a noun (person, place, or thing) and/or a verb!
Regardless of what human role we occupy we all have internal and external strengths. Internal strengths are all of the things that we contain within us and our beings; things like values, beliefs, knowledge, skills, experiences, opinions, ideas, interests, goals, culture, dreams, aspirations, language, talents, abilities, uniqueness, potential, etc. External strengths are those things that exist outside of us, such as; people (family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers), places, successes, actions, interactions, school, sports, hobbies, church, groups, community, work, extracurricular activities, etc.
While this list of strengths may seem very general and quite broad, it is purposeful as it provides the largest pool of resource possibilities to draw on when developing our own or others’ capacities.
Personal Reflection
Have you ever considered your own strengths? What are your strengths? Have you been asked that question before? If so, was it easy to answer? Was it challenging, awkward, outright difficult? What was it like for you? Who was asking that question? Was it you? Was it someone else? For many of us, the most common place we hear that type of question is in an interview room, usually from a potential employer. And for most of us, it is not an easy question to answer. I can bet that it may be easier to answer the question, what are you not good at? Or, what are your weaknesses? Have you ever wondered why that is?
If you are someone that has been asked about your strengths consistently, consider yourself fortunate and that experience an exception. How would I know this? Each year I have thousands of conversations with many people; many of those folks are in the helping professions and, even in that well-meaning, well intentioned, wellness-directed environment searching for and identifying strengths can be a challenge.
The Problem with Problems
The problem with problems is that they take up a majority of our focus, time and energy. How is this a problem? Sometimes problems are all we see. Unfortunately, despite the political, theoretical, philosophical and popular emphasis on strengths these days, we are still a very deficit and weakness focussed society.
The Western world is still quite obsessed with problems. In schools, we continue to teach young children, from the beginning, to solve a problem and develop a solution starting with the search for the root or the cause of that particular dilemma. We are taught to think linearly; find the problem and find the solution! Consider all of the thousands of “self-help” books and programs available that encourage people to find out what’s wrong and fix-it. Even many of the helping professions start with a risk focus over a strengths perspective, asking what is wrong versus what is right or going well. Individual and family interventions are still predominantly psychobiomedical model focussed and start with identifying pathology, dysfunction, deficits and disorders as a beginning point to “treatment”.
Even at home and at work there is a major emphasis on what is wrong or not working. Many parents have not been taught to focus on potential, strengths and success. It is unfortunate that common parent-child conversations in today’s busy world are taken up with task maintenance (get-up, sit-up, hurry-up, clean-up, grow-up) or correcting and teaching directives. The phrase, “can you come here please” or “I need to talk to you” have been tainted for many children and youth with negative perceptions and experiences – “uh oh, I think I did something ‘wrong’”.
Many of us can attest to a parallel-type process at work. As adults we may have similar fear, guilt or shame based experiences when we hear “I’d like to see you in my office” or “We need to talk”. The adage “no news is good news” is quite common in many workplaces. It is the idea that if you haven’t heard from your superior then you must be doing OK and have not screwed up. Subsequently then this means that when you ARE hearing from your “Boss” you must have done something “wrong”, maybe something that needs to be corrected or fixed. Where is the space for Strengths?
To a large degree we live in a world wherein we are encouraged more so to look at problems than to seek strengths. No wonder it can be difficult to answer the question, “what are your strengths?” Adhering to a problem-oriented view can have many negative implications that are beyond the scope of this article; however, I believe one of the greatest challenges of a predominant focus on deficits is, seeing and/or experiencing strengths can be exceptionally difficult.
Strengths are like Loose Change
If you made it your mission starting today to look for loose change all of the time and everywhere you travelled, there is no doubt that you would find more than you ever have. The interesting thing about loose change is that it was and is always there. However, when you don’t look for it, you will not see it. As a matter of fact, you may even walk by it all of the time and not notice it at all. Further to this, by not seeing it, you may accidentally step all over it and even bury it further down and; if and when someone encourages you to go back and find the loose change, it may be harder than ever to find!
Strengths are like loose change. In a problem oriented world it can be difficult if not impossible to see and experience our own and other’s strengths. We must actively search for strengths if we are going to find them.
A Strengths Perspective: More than simply being positive
Many of us in general have a limited understanding of what a strengths approach might be. When I used to interview for a variety of positions in human services it was common place for me to ask interviewees, “what do you understand as a strengths perspective or strengths based approach?” Responses revolved around a similar theme; being positive; focussing on the positive or; when the negative is outweighed by the positive. Many parents and caregivers, for a variety of reasons also find it difficult to articulate and demonstrate an understanding of being strengths focussed beyond being positive. A strengths approach to helping is much more than being positive.
A Strengths Approach to Helping
A Story About David
In order to best illustrate a strengths approach to helping, I will use a story of David, one of hundreds of youth who we have worked with. David was a 16 year old boy who was in the care of family services after being removed from his home four years earlier as a result of serious acting out behaviour. David arrived to our program with three volumes of files chalked full of negative social history; all the “bad” things that happened to him and all of the “Bad” things that he did. It was full of many labels (aggressive, manipulative, violent, etc.) and multiple diagnoses (Reactive Attachment Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) regarding a whole host of “dysfunctional”, inappropriate and out of control behaviours. David’s story was absolutely problem-saturated. It was overwhelming. It was not a surprise that most of the helpers involved were overwhelmed and at the end of their rope. They were feeling lost and helpless.
Our team’s first question was “what are David’s strengths?” On page 33 of the second volume of files we found a mandatory strengths section. Scribbled in almost illegible penmanship was “hockey”. That was it.
Our priority with David, other than building a strong relationship, and setting important goals for him and his life, was to set out on the journey to Better by utilizing a strengths approach to helping.
A strengths approach is comprised of three important steps. First, it entails the SEARCH for Strengths. Secondly, once we have discovered and identified Strengths, we must BUILD on those Strengths. From there, it is imperative that we LEVERAGE identified Strengths in the pursuit of important goals.
Search for Strengths
Searching for strengths in the simplest manner starts with an appreciative inquiry that asks, “What is right?” or “What is going well?” rather than “What is wrong” or “What needs to be fixed”. The search for strengths must be set out and accomplished in the context of important goals. Two of David’s goals were to decrease his violent behaviour by increasing positive actions and interaction and, to stay in school longer than 1 hour per week. Remember, as helpers we are assisting others on a journey to BETTER. It is imperative to search for the strengths that can be identified to assist, support or enhance the development of potential and/or overall abilities on the road to accomplishing important goals?
Here are additional strengths based questions that ALL HELPERS (parents, teachers, social workers, supervisors, etc.) can use to assist in the cultivation and/or discovery of valuable assets, resources, potential; ones’ strengths.
- What does this person do well?
- What is this person good at? – List as many things (actions, behaviours, interactions)
- Where has this person experienced success? What was it about that?
- Where does this person experience success?
- What does this person like?
- What does he/she think he/she’s good at?
- Where are they the most successful? Why is that?
- Where are they most comfortable? Why is that?
- When are problems not apparent? What’s different?
- Who are they most successful with? What is it about those others?
- What will he/she need to continue being successful?
- What is Better? When was it Better? When is it Better? How is it Better?
- What is right, no matter how small?
It is critical to get as many details as possible. And write them down! I often encourage people to develop an ongoing index or compilation of strengths as they are cultivated and identified. This will help as a resource list for building on strengths in the overall plan or approach to helping the individual Get to Better.
In David’s situation our team cultivated over 80 specific and tangible strengths! We utilized the questions with all of the current and past helpers in David’s life. We used the questions as a lens as we read through every record, communication log, file and assessment. We built a great plan with David and many things began to get BETTER immediately!
Build on Strengths
Once strengths are identified they become more concrete and tangible making it increasingly possible to build on them. Building on strengths in the simplest terms means to construct or develop them further. Let’s return to the story of David. Let’s say for the sake of discussion that David’s only identified strength was indeed hockey. When we met David, hockey did not have a place in his life at all. He was not in hockey (despite a serious interest), nor did he have a stick, skates, rollerblades, or a net for road hockey. He had never been to a hockey game, did not own a hockey jersey, trade cards or even watch hockey on TV. Yes, this potential strength was indeed discovered, but nothing was done with it!
Building on David’s strength entailed getting the details around this potential resource and developing it further. In this case it meant that we worked at signing David up for and supporting his attendance in hockey. We capitalized on helping him save for equipment and other hockey paraphernalia. We built on this strength further by encouraging and supporting his efforts and accomplishments as they related to this newfound athletic, physical and social activity. David’s sense of success and confidence blossomed. Many areas of programming and planning including incentives and rewards were built into an overall approach to getting David closer to Better. We began to see a much more focussed, excited, motivated and cooperative young man. Hockey was just the start; it served as conduit and opening for all sorts of other successes, strengths and potential.
Leverage Strengths in the Pursuit of Important Goals
Mobilizing Strengths means to utilize them or leverage them as we work towards important goals. In David’s situation we were working together towards increased positive behaviour and interactions with others, in an attempt to decrease violence and keep him in school for longer periods of time.
Leveraging this strength was quite simple and worked out quite well. We presented to David the idea that, if he could stay in school without negative incident for at least half a day, he would be able to play extra hockey on the weekend. David agreed to this plan. This arrangement helped him with his focus, motivation, buy-in and cooperation; he worked hard at being successful. I will never forget that on our first try David stayed in school without incident for two and a half days. It was the longest he had stayed in school for more than two years. It was amazing!
Positive Implications and Advantages of a Strengths Based Approach to Helping
Feels Good!
Invariably, the first thing most people say following an exercise that compares a problem interview with a strengths interview is that the strengths interview feels positive, refreshing, uplifting; just good overall. Imagine if this was the only benefit? Wouldn’t that be good enough? What if nothing else changes and we just feel Better? That alone is pretty good, given that usually when we feel better as helpers, we do better. And usually the people we are helping do better also. Feeling good is great, but a strengths approach goes beyond the positive experience.
Provides Hope and Optimism
A problem saturated focus can be overwhelming and negative, blocking out hope and leading to an overwhelming sense of helplessness. Identifying, building on and leveraging strengths among many things is an exercise in HOPE building. A strengths approach provides a great deal of hope and optimism by illuminating that there is more to us or a situation than just deficits, weaknesses or problems. Even if hope is all we have, it can be everything. Hope can sometimes mean the difference between giving up and getting up – giving in or giving it one more try.
Affirms and Validates
A problem-centric environment leaves little room for understanding, knowing and or hearing about what we do well or do right. It is extremely affirming and validating to hear that we are saying and doing a lot of things right. We all like to hear about our strengths as much as possible, especially in the tough times, when things may not be going well or when we feel like we are moving away from BETTER. Being affirmed and validated around what we are doing well can act as a buffer to be able to hear about or face with strength and courage the things we need to improve or develop further. Simply put, it’s easier to hear the bad stuff and know that we aren’t all bad; especially if we hear about the good stuff first and, hear that that we are actually doing good stuff also.
Asks What’s Right – Not What’s Wrong
This is a great starting place, particularly in a world where a focus on problems dominates. In addition to this, it makes more sense to build on what is working versus, what is not. Does it really make sense to study “bad” or “poor” relationships in order to construct good ones? Not really! What we learn is what not to do or what to avoid. This does not mean that we will learn what to do or how we can do it. Knowing what’s right can help us get closer to what’s BETTER and eventually away from what’s wrong, with out having to focus solely on the problems.
Provides a Sense of Real Competence and Confidence
One of the great things about a strengths approach is that it is more than just being positive. It is specific and tangible. It points in the direction of successes and concrete results from efforts and accomplishments of both the past and the present. Real success from real strengths results in real competency. A strengths approach provides the valuable message that you have done it, you can do it and, you will do it…and continue to do it again and again! A strong sense of competence and confidence are invaluable on the journey to BETTER.
Illuminates Additional Strengths and Resource Possibilities for Moving to BETTER
One of the greatest things about a strengths approach is that it creates an arena of many possibilities. Take David’s case for instance. What started out as an interest for hockey turned into getting along with others, having fun, skill demonstration, keeping appointments, being a team player, and so much more. Just as a focus on dysfunction can illuminate all sorts of problems, conversely a focus on strengths begets more strengths and successes. It increases the pool of possibilities; potential and available raw materials necessary for making the journey to Better.
Conclusion
The importance of and need for a strengths approach to helping on the journey to BETTER, can not be understated.
As you go out into the world to HELP others, I would encourage you to seriously consider one thing prior to and throughout all of your efforts…
Got Strengths?
If you have any questions regarding this article, or would like some support in developing and/or implementing a strengths approach to helping, please do no hesitate to contact us at Getting to Better!
